The Power of Change - And Why It Starts with YOU!

“Yesterday, I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
- Rumi

There was a time, let’s be honest, most of my life, when I believed my purpose was to change the people around me, the world, if you will. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this deep yearning to help those I loved feel better, to show them the light that transformed my own life.

I thought that if I could just share what I’d discovered, if I could show them the way, they would see things differently. They would feel what I felt, and they would thrive just as I had. I saw their potential, and I wanted desperately to help them unlock it.

But along the way, I had to come face to face with a simple truth:

You can’t change anyone else. Not really. Not unless they are ready to change themselves.

It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way, one that seems to circle back again and again in my life, showing up in different forms, sometimes the same, sometimes slightly altered, but always with the same core essence. This has been one of my core lessons since I was a little girl.

A Lesson I Keep Learning:

Growing up in a chaotic and alcoholic home, I watched my mother struggle, and from a young age, I wanted nothing more than to help her. I believed that if I could just show her the way, if I could make her feel better, heal her somehow, things would be different.

Later, as I became a therapist, this desire to help others shifted into a heavy burden, a need to “heal” my clients. As a business coach, I wanted nothing more than to see my clients thrive and find success. As a functional nutritionist, I was driven by the hope that my clients could heal their hormones, alleviate their symptoms, and ultimately feel like themselves again. And in countless personal relationships, I found myself exhausted, offering the same advice over and over, only for it to fall on deaf ears.

I spent so much time trying to teach, trying to advise, and trying to fix. I thought I could solve people’s problems so that they would feel better. It felt like I was laying my heart bare, offering everything I had—my knowledge, my advice, my love—and yet, I couldn’t make them see what I saw. I couldn’t make them feel what I felt.

And every time my efforts didn’t land, it felt like a quiet loss.

The Subtle Trap of Trying to Change Others:

I’ve poured my heart into each of these roles, always with the same pure intention: to make things better, to help others feel better, to be the change I wanted to see in the world.

But over time, I’ve learned that the desire to change others, while often a gift of love, is also a trap. When we try to change other people, we give our power away. In that giving away, we forget one crucial thing: we cannot change anyone else unless they are ready to change themselves.

This lesson is not just for therapists, coaches, or those in designated “helping” professions. As smart, capable women, it’s easy to fall into this trap. We’ve learned so much along our journey, and we want to share that knowledge with others. Why wouldn’t we want to help others feel better with everything we’ve gathered? But in trying to change others, we often hand over the very power we need to create change within ourselves.

We forget that the true power lies within.

Finding Power Through Presence:

True power is not in the advice we give or the knowledge we possess. It’s in the way we live. It’s in the quiet, consistent steps we take every day toward our own growth, our own healing.

When we show up for ourselves, when we choose our own path of transformation—even when it’s hard, even when it requires us to sit with discomfort or do difficult things—we ignite something far more powerful than any lecture or piece of advice we could give.

We become the living example of change.

But here’s the nuance we must acknowledge: In Western culture, we are often taught to place our own healing above the collective. We are taught to focus solely on the individual, often isolating ourselves in the pursuit of personal growth.

The truth is, this is a delicate dance. The duality of life asks us to learn how to hold space for both the individual and the collective, to nourish ourselves while still being in relationship with the world around us. We must cultivate the inner resilience to navigate this complexity and continue moving forward, aligned with our deepest truths.

The Essence of True Health:

This is health. It’s not about focusing only on our individual healing, but about building the inner resources to be present, grounded, and resilient in the face of all that life throws at us.

When we truly embrace this truth, we realize that the answers are not found in more information or external solutions. They are in the ability to stand fully present in the world. Our power lies not in fixing or changing others, but in how we show up for ourselves, every single day.

It’s in the courage to do our own work, to heal ourselves, and to trust that in doing so, we offer the gift of our inner peace to the world.

This continued realization is what has guided my own path to healing, and it is what calls me back to my practice now. Not to fix anyone, not to give advice, but to stand alongside those who are ready to find their own truth.

It is not more information we need; it is the courage to take action on the wisdom we already hold. It’s the inner work of remembering who we truly are and finding the worthiness to move forward from that place.

So, What Does That Look Like, Working Together?

It’s not about fitting into a specific label, nor is it about following a prescribed plan that you can check off. This work does not come with neat categories or rigid boxes, even though it would make things easier for all of us.

What I offer is a space—quiet, intentional—for you to explore your truth, reflect on what has been holding you back, and uncover the courage to move forward with integrity.

This work is not about finding the "right" answers. It’s about cultivating the inner strength to take action on what you already know. This is for those who are ready to stop seeking external solutions and begin to trust themselves. It’s for those who are ready to explore the deeper work of self-worth, resilience, and the capacity to sit with life’s challenges without losing sight of who they are.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to connect with me. Whether through 1:1 coaching or a deeper, immersive experience like the Reset and Reclaim retreat in Costa Rica, I am here to walk alongside you.

Why the Reset and Reclaim Retreat Is the Most Potent Path Forward:

When I think about the Reset and Reclaim retreat in Costa Rica, I’m reminded of how truly transformative it is for anyone ready to dive deep. Costa Rica offers not just the beauty of nature, but the space to slow down, step away from the distractions of daily life, and reconnect with yourself.

This retreat isn’t about escaping; it’s about being fully present with yourself, learning to sit with the complexities of your life, and honoring both the individual and the collective within you. In the serene, vibrant energy of the jungle, we’ll create a space to hold all parts of you, offering the quiet and support needed for transformation to occur.

It’s here, in the union of inner stillness and outward presence, where the most profound healing happens.

Final Thoughts:

True change isn’t about fixing anything—it’s about showing up as you are, fully and authentically, and allowing that to be enough. Working together, whether through 1:1 coaching or the Costa Rica retreat, is for those who are ready to explore true change—not just in their body or their external relationships, but in their soul.

I invite you to step into this space, not to fix anything, but to simply show up, fully, as we are.

With love and light,
Dr. Jenn Chrisman